The Right Thing is Seldom Easy

First of all, I knew that I would suck at this blogging thing. I just realized my last post was in October! How lame!

A very brief catch up: I finished my first semester here at Roosevelt with a 4.0 GPA. I was quite proud of myself I must say! I stayed in Chicago for Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle, and cousins (and their babies!) and had such a great time. Then I was lucky enough to enjoy a whole month home in Nashville for Christmas. It was a great time to just be with my family and my friends and enjoy the stress-free time of no work and no school.

Second semester brought a couple of changes. I moved apartments at the end of January and gained 2 new roommates. They have super sweet, but it's been quite an adjustment for someone who lived alone for so many years. I also took an extra class this semester which has brought it's own stresses. My class load has been difficult, but I'm still loving it. *End catch up portion*

Spring Break was last week. Instead of heading to the beach to spend a week filled with partying, I went home to Nashville. My sister joked with me that it doesn't feel like I moved away because I'm home so often. That may be the case, but it sure is nice. As always, I felt like I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to do or see everyone I wanted to see. The last 24 hours felt rushed and I was stressed.

My last day in town I went to see "my kids" that I used to nanny for. We played for a bit and I hugged on them as much as they would let me. When it was time for me to leave, those two sweet kiddos stood at the edge of the sidewalk and waved at me, blew me kisses, and kept yelling "I love you!" as I drove away. That did it for me. The tears started coming. Before I knew it I was bawling like a baby. That day was the first day that I just didn't want to leave. I didn't want to get on the bus and come back to Chicago. I wanted to stay with what was comfortable and familiar. What was safe.

Don't get me wrong. I still have no doubt whatsoever that I'm in the right place. I love school. I love the friends I've made here. I love the church I'm attending. I love this city. But I would be lying if I tried to say that this isn't scary. It's been 7 months since I moved here, and it's still scary. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the kids that hold such dear places in my heart. There are days that I know life would be more comfortable if I fell back in the old routine of living in Nashville.

I feel like most people think I always have it all together. One of my friends told me the other day, "You are just so brave!" Truth is, I'm a big wuss. I know I'm in the right place. I feel such an overwhelming peace about it. But the right thing is seldom the easy thing. I'm thankful each and everyday for the support and the love that so many people give me, and I'm grateful for a God who guides me and comforts me. Even on the days I want to hide.