Today I spent a blissful day walking around Chicago. The weather was perfect, and I took full advantage of that to do some things that I hadn't done yet and to enjoy some of my favorite things in the city. It's beginning to set in that I'm about to leave my adopted home, and I'm realizing how much I'm going to miss it. So while I'm feeling nostalgic, I thought I would take the opportunity to write about what brought me here.
As the title of this blog says....Chicago saved me.
Not to be dramatic, but before I moved here to begin grad school--I felt like I was drowning. I knew what I wanted to do with my life career wise, but getting to that point seemed almost impossible. I loved my job as a nanny, but even when you enjoy your day to day you long for the stability and certainty that comes with a career. My family and friends were (and are!) wonderful and supportive, but my frustration with my life weighed on me.
On top of feeling stuck, there was a frustration of feeling like more often than not I was alone. I was in a different place than everyone I knew in Nashville. While all of my friends were getting married and having babies and being "grown ups", I felt stuck and different. There were times when the loneliness was so deafening that I thought I would never escape it. I spent so many nights feeling sad and questioning why my life had turned out so different from everyone else. Writing this now, I feel like I was just throwing myself a huge pity party all of the time. I did love many aspects of my life, but I knew that if I stayed in Nashville my life would never move forward.
I still remember the night that I first thought about the possibility of Chicago. It was the Fourth of July, 2010. I was at the fireworks show in Mt. Juliet with my sister and my cousins, Grant and Olivia. I can't remember what was said, but somehow the topic of Chicago came up. I spent the entire fireworks show thinking about the possibilities, went home that night, and began doing some research. About two months later, I had decided that one way or another I was going to move to Chicago.
This is going to sound so cliché and funny now, but here it goes. As most people who know me can attest--I'm not the biggest fan of country music. There are some artists that I don't mind, but on the whole...it's just not my thing. However, one of the things I remember vividly about the week before I moved is driving alone and listening to the Rascal Flatts song, "I'm Moving On" and bawling my eyes out. It was exactly how I felt about leaving Nashville. Every. Single. Line. I felt such a peace about getting out and leaving all of the sadness and mistakes behind me. It makes me laugh now, but at the time it was DEEP!
In August 2011, I moved to Chicago. I was scared and nervous and so unsure about what I had done. The last few days in Nashville were a whirlwind of emotion. I remember the plane taking off from the airport in Nashville and flying over my church. I stared at the window and cried and cried. I have never been more scared or excited or relieved or unsure all at the same time before or since that moment. Over the past 3 years, I have grown and changed in ways that I never could have in Nashville. I have grown in my faith in ways that were unimaginable then. I have learned to love and accept the chapter of life that I'm in now, and take advantage of all of the perks that come along with it. Chicago saved me. When I say that, I don't mean the city--I mean the entire experience. It saved me. It brought me back to the land of the living. It gave me a purpose outside of feeling sorry for myself. It made me look BEYOND myself. It brought back my sense of compassion and justice and wanting to help others. It made me strong. It made me hope and dream again. It made me realize that when my faith and trust are in the right place, I truly can accomplish great things. This experience wasn't about me. It was about God working through me, and most importantly, IN me.
I'm so happy about moving back to Nashville. I'm nervous too, but I feel like I'm taking all sorts of things back with me. It's become my mantra of sorts, but I know that if God has opened all of the doors this far...I know He'll continue to open them. I feel such a peace about my decision. I feel just like I did about moving to Chicago--driven. I know that God has plans for me there and I can't wait to see how they will unfold.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
I did it!
I graduated! Last week, I walked across the stage of the Auditorium Theatre at Roosevelt and earned my Master of Arts degree in School Counseling. I am still recovering from the shock that grad school is over. I'm finishing up my internship hours this month and finishing up my job at Roosevelt in the next two months. I don't think it's really sunk in yet that this is it...that in less than two months I will be living back in Nashville.
I had a digital interview (so interesting) with MNPS a few weeks ago. I know that with the end of the school year, many schools aren't ready to move forward in the hiring process. Even though I know that, I am so anxious to hear SOMETHING. I'm considering applying to the Williamson County School system as well, just in case. But my heart really wants to work with kids in a low income school setting. I'm trying to just hand my worries and my anxiety over to God and trust that He will continue to take care of me.
The unexpected part of this whole "ending" process is how nervous I am about moving back to Nashville. I really have formed a life here--and I'm uprooting it again. I have no doubts that I'm doing the right thing, but I am nervous. I have no idea where my place will be when I'm home. How will I really fit in on a daily basis. I have amazing friends in Nashville, but their lives have moved on just like mine. They are used to me coming in for quick visits, not permanently being there. What will those friendships look like? What will my relationship with my family look like? Once again, when those anxieties start creeping in...I just have to hand them over.
Thank you isn't a strong enough sentiment to say to everyone who has loved me, supported me, and prayed over me these past 3 years. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have made it otherwise. I'm so grateful for my Chicago experience. I'm truly going to miss this city and the people that I call my friends here.
I had a digital interview (so interesting) with MNPS a few weeks ago. I know that with the end of the school year, many schools aren't ready to move forward in the hiring process. Even though I know that, I am so anxious to hear SOMETHING. I'm considering applying to the Williamson County School system as well, just in case. But my heart really wants to work with kids in a low income school setting. I'm trying to just hand my worries and my anxiety over to God and trust that He will continue to take care of me.
The unexpected part of this whole "ending" process is how nervous I am about moving back to Nashville. I really have formed a life here--and I'm uprooting it again. I have no doubts that I'm doing the right thing, but I am nervous. I have no idea where my place will be when I'm home. How will I really fit in on a daily basis. I have amazing friends in Nashville, but their lives have moved on just like mine. They are used to me coming in for quick visits, not permanently being there. What will those friendships look like? What will my relationship with my family look like? Once again, when those anxieties start creeping in...I just have to hand them over.
Thank you isn't a strong enough sentiment to say to everyone who has loved me, supported me, and prayed over me these past 3 years. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have made it otherwise. I'm so grateful for my Chicago experience. I'm truly going to miss this city and the people that I call my friends here.
Monday, February 10, 2014
3 more months!
Can you believe it? I know I can't! Three more months until I graduate. Wow. So far, this semester is flying by. I'm trying to make the most out of my time here. I want to make sure that I spend some quality time with the friends that I've made here. If only Chicago would decide to warm up a little and STOP SNOWING so that I could enjoy the city a little more. I'm really looking forward to springtime so that I can spend some time out in this amazing city. I just hate the snow. Like, really truly HATE the snow.
My internship has been amazing so far. My supervisor is so wonderful and has taught me so much. She has given me the opportunity to start running my own groups and doing my own classroom guidance. I really appreciate all that she is teaching me. My kids are wonderful too. It really has solidified for me that I want to work with middle school kids. I love talking with them about high school readiness and career exploration. Some of the things I've learned about some of my kids are really hard. It makes me so sad to learn about the environments that many of them come from. I just want to protect them from the world.
As of now, I'll be moving home sometime between June 1 and July 1. I've really loved Chicago and there is so much about this city that I will miss. Just not the snow.
My internship has been amazing so far. My supervisor is so wonderful and has taught me so much. She has given me the opportunity to start running my own groups and doing my own classroom guidance. I really appreciate all that she is teaching me. My kids are wonderful too. It really has solidified for me that I want to work with middle school kids. I love talking with them about high school readiness and career exploration. Some of the things I've learned about some of my kids are really hard. It makes me so sad to learn about the environments that many of them come from. I just want to protect them from the world.
As of now, I'll be moving home sometime between June 1 and July 1. I've really loved Chicago and there is so much about this city that I will miss. Just not the snow.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
It's finally here!
I finally start my internship this week! I cannot wait! Chicago Public Schools start classes tomorrow and my first day on the job will be Tuesday. I had really hoped to be able to get over to the school over the summer, but my other job has just been crazy.
Work is going well, just super busy. I know that as soon as my internship starts I'm going to have to get really good at juggling everything. I don't always do that real well. When I commit to something, I don't like doing it halfway. Hopefully I can do my internship, job, and classes all to the best of my ability. Here's hoping anyway.
On a sad note, I've started to realize that I probably won't get to go back to Nashville until Christmas time. I keep trying to remind myself that I will be home for good this time next year. I have been pretty homesick lately. So much seems to be going on with my family and friends and I hate missing out on things. On the flip side, I'm trying to soak up as much of Chicago as I can. I do love this city so much! I know I will miss it and the friends that I have made once I'm gone.
Work is going well, just super busy. I know that as soon as my internship starts I'm going to have to get really good at juggling everything. I don't always do that real well. When I commit to something, I don't like doing it halfway. Hopefully I can do my internship, job, and classes all to the best of my ability. Here's hoping anyway.
On a sad note, I've started to realize that I probably won't get to go back to Nashville until Christmas time. I keep trying to remind myself that I will be home for good this time next year. I have been pretty homesick lately. So much seems to be going on with my family and friends and I hate missing out on things. On the flip side, I'm trying to soak up as much of Chicago as I can. I do love this city so much! I know I will miss it and the friends that I have made once I'm gone.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Frustration
I'm finding myself to be extremely restless tonight. I feel like I've been so impatient to get to this point in school, and now I just want to speed through it. My head and my heart are already a year down the road. I know that this next year will be invaluable as far as my career goes. Maybe by the time school starts and I'm actually in my internship I'll feel differently. Tonight though, my head is filled with big plans, dreams, and excitement. And not completely focused homework... :-)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
My final year!
This long abandoned blog...oh my. Bless any of you still looking at it!
Well, it's finally here! I will begin my third and final year of graduate school in just a few weeks. My summer has been filled with classes, practicum, work, and training. This has been a far cry from my restful summer last year! I have taken 2 classes this summer. The first one is my class that goes along with my practicum. Practicum is really just a short version of my internship that I will do next year. Ideally, I would have done my practicum at the end of the school year at the school where I will be doing my internship. However, my supervisor there had a baby in April and took maternity leave for the remainder of the school year. I wasn't sure that I would even be able to do any of my practicum this summer, and my advisor assured me that it would be fine. In June I applied for a counseling intern position with a summer acceleration program in CPS. The program is for students who have aged out of 8th grade and have to either pass the program and move on to high school or go to alternative school. Many of these students have behavioral issues, so my first couple of weeks were incredibly difficult. Thankfully, it's gotten much better and I feel like I've really formed good relationships with many of them!
My second class ends in two weeks. It's a Human Development course where I have to teach a chapter and make a Lifespan Portfolio of an adult over the age of 65. Not too bad really. In the middle of all of this, I've moved twice, done a summer project job, and started training for my new residence life position. It's been somewhat of a whirlwind!
I've decided that I will be moving back to Nashville once I graduate and finish my job here. I've spent a lot of time praying about this and trying to be rational. CPS has cut close to 2,000 jobs over the summer and closed more than 50 schools. I could stay and "hope" to find a job, move to the suburbs, or look elsewhere. The first option just doesn't seem very probable. The second option is just not appealing to me. As for the third...I feel like Nashville has a popultion that I would love to work with. Plus, I truly miss my family and my friends. I have some things I would love to do and accomplish, and having that solid support system is a neccesity.
So, I'm down to my final 15 credits! 3 actual classes and two semesters of internship. Graduation is scheduled for May 2nd. I cannot wait to walk across that stage and get my diploma!
Well, it's finally here! I will begin my third and final year of graduate school in just a few weeks. My summer has been filled with classes, practicum, work, and training. This has been a far cry from my restful summer last year! I have taken 2 classes this summer. The first one is my class that goes along with my practicum. Practicum is really just a short version of my internship that I will do next year. Ideally, I would have done my practicum at the end of the school year at the school where I will be doing my internship. However, my supervisor there had a baby in April and took maternity leave for the remainder of the school year. I wasn't sure that I would even be able to do any of my practicum this summer, and my advisor assured me that it would be fine. In June I applied for a counseling intern position with a summer acceleration program in CPS. The program is for students who have aged out of 8th grade and have to either pass the program and move on to high school or go to alternative school. Many of these students have behavioral issues, so my first couple of weeks were incredibly difficult. Thankfully, it's gotten much better and I feel like I've really formed good relationships with many of them!
My second class ends in two weeks. It's a Human Development course where I have to teach a chapter and make a Lifespan Portfolio of an adult over the age of 65. Not too bad really. In the middle of all of this, I've moved twice, done a summer project job, and started training for my new residence life position. It's been somewhat of a whirlwind!
I've decided that I will be moving back to Nashville once I graduate and finish my job here. I've spent a lot of time praying about this and trying to be rational. CPS has cut close to 2,000 jobs over the summer and closed more than 50 schools. I could stay and "hope" to find a job, move to the suburbs, or look elsewhere. The first option just doesn't seem very probable. The second option is just not appealing to me. As for the third...I feel like Nashville has a popultion that I would love to work with. Plus, I truly miss my family and my friends. I have some things I would love to do and accomplish, and having that solid support system is a neccesity.
So, I'm down to my final 15 credits! 3 actual classes and two semesters of internship. Graduation is scheduled for May 2nd. I cannot wait to walk across that stage and get my diploma!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Loving This
Where can I even start? I have absolutely loved this year. Don't get me wrong, last year was great. But this year I feel like I actually have a life here!
I love my church here so much! I missed hearing Pastor Jon speak and the energy/excitement my church has about ministering to the city. My small group leaders moved back to Austrailia and I miss them a lot. I'm hoping to get plugged into a new small group soon.
My classes are incredible. All of my classes are very hands on and practical. I will be applying for my practicum in December which seems unreal. I have some wonderful friends in my classes and I'm so glad that we are experiencing this together. My practicum will be this summer followed by my two semester internship. Then...graduation!!!! Yay!
The RA life is never dull, and I have made some great friends. Most of them are traditonal undergrad students, but there is one undergrad student in his 40's and one other grad student who is a couple of years older than me. For the most part though, I've become the "momma" to the group. I have really come to love these guys. We've been together everyday for the past 6 weeks and have become a sort of family.
Again, I'm surprised at how sheltered my life has been up to this point. I have experienced more and gotten a bigger picture of the "real world" in the past few weeks than I have in my whole life. I've been challenged more than ever and really seen the importance of unfailing love and support. I'm hoping that these experiences will not only make me a better school counselor, but a better person.
I'm heading home on Tuesday afternoon for the arrival of Carrie's daughter, Piper Lynn. I could not be more excited! It's also going to be nice to just be home for a few days. I've really been missing my family and friends the past few days. That's one thing that I don't think will ever change. As much as I love this city and the life I've made here, I still wish I could combine Chicago and Nashville.
I love my church here so much! I missed hearing Pastor Jon speak and the energy/excitement my church has about ministering to the city. My small group leaders moved back to Austrailia and I miss them a lot. I'm hoping to get plugged into a new small group soon.
My classes are incredible. All of my classes are very hands on and practical. I will be applying for my practicum in December which seems unreal. I have some wonderful friends in my classes and I'm so glad that we are experiencing this together. My practicum will be this summer followed by my two semester internship. Then...graduation!!!! Yay!
The RA life is never dull, and I have made some great friends. Most of them are traditonal undergrad students, but there is one undergrad student in his 40's and one other grad student who is a couple of years older than me. For the most part though, I've become the "momma" to the group. I have really come to love these guys. We've been together everyday for the past 6 weeks and have become a sort of family.
Again, I'm surprised at how sheltered my life has been up to this point. I have experienced more and gotten a bigger picture of the "real world" in the past few weeks than I have in my whole life. I've been challenged more than ever and really seen the importance of unfailing love and support. I'm hoping that these experiences will not only make me a better school counselor, but a better person.
I'm heading home on Tuesday afternoon for the arrival of Carrie's daughter, Piper Lynn. I could not be more excited! It's also going to be nice to just be home for a few days. I've really been missing my family and friends the past few days. That's one thing that I don't think will ever change. As much as I love this city and the life I've made here, I still wish I could combine Chicago and Nashville.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Settling In
Well I am back in Chicago and all moved in to my new apartment! I absolutely love it here! For those who don't know, my school, Roosevelt University, finished building a new 32 story building in the middle of the Loop this past spring. One of the challenges of being a school in the middle of downtown Chicago is the lack of space. Roosevelt tore down an old residence hall and replaced it with the beautiful Wabash Building.
This new building has a dining hall, fitness area, lots of office space, new classrooms and labs, and the top 17 floors is a residence hall. This is my new home for the year. I'm an RA on the 16th floor. We've been in training for a week now, and I have loved it. I'm one of two graduate students working as an RA, so most of my co-workers are younger than me. What else is new? :-) Our team gets along really well, and I'm so excited to see what the year holds.
Here are some pictures of the inside of my apartment. Outside of training, I haven't been up to a whole lot yet. I'll update when things get a little more interesting!
Oh yeah, I did have a pretty awesome view of Lollapalooza! Here's a picture I took of the entrance before it started last week.
Here are some pictures of the inside of my apartment. Outside of training, I haven't been up to a whole lot yet. I'll update when things get a little more interesting!
Oh yeah, I did have a pretty awesome view of Lollapalooza! Here's a picture I took of the entrance before it started last week.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Summertime
I've always loved that Will Smith song. Anyone else? It instantly puts me in a chill mood and makes me long for the days of hanging out by the pool with friends. Sometimes I wish we could experience the joy and freedom of the summers we had as kids with the knowledge and responsibility we have as adults, you know? I know I would have appreciated those summers so much more!
Anyway, I have no idea why I'm longing for carefree days like that now. This will easily be the most laid back summer I've had in years! I'm in Chicago right now taking two summer courses. Both of them are shortened, so I'll be done completely on June 30. My fantastic aunt and uncle are putting me up at their house in Geneva, a fantastic suburb west of the city. Seriously, I am so grateful for them. They have been so kind and supportive, and I won't be able to thank them enough.
I'm finishing up week 3 of a 6 week Ethics course. It's been really interesting and really frustrating all at the same time. The more I learn about Ethics, the more I realize that there are no black and white answers. This Saturday I start a 5 week class on Youth and Exceptional Children. I have to complete 25 observation hours for that class that I am planning on completing in a couple of weeks. The class on Saturday is all day: 9:00--5:00. Yuck! It's also out at my school's suburban campus which I have never been to before. Luckily, one of my friends from the Chicago campus is also taking it. Hopefully that will make the time go by faster.
I'm planning on going back home to Nashville for the month of July. I haven't heard any new information yet about when I need to be back for RA training or which building I'll be living in. I'm looking forward to hearing soon. It will be so nice to be home for a few weeks. The one thing Chicago doesn't have is my friends and family, and I miss them all so much. My sister teases me that I'm home all the time. Maybe that's true, but I'm sure with me being an RA this year, that won't be the case. I'm trying to take advantage of it while I can!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Right Thing is Seldom Easy
First of all, I knew that I would suck at this blogging thing. I just realized my last post was in October! How lame!
A very brief catch up: I finished my first semester here at Roosevelt with a 4.0 GPA. I was quite proud of myself I must say! I stayed in Chicago for Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle, and cousins (and their babies!) and had such a great time. Then I was lucky enough to enjoy a whole month home in Nashville for Christmas. It was a great time to just be with my family and my friends and enjoy the stress-free time of no work and no school.
Second semester brought a couple of changes. I moved apartments at the end of January and gained 2 new roommates. They have super sweet, but it's been quite an adjustment for someone who lived alone for so many years. I also took an extra class this semester which has brought it's own stresses. My class load has been difficult, but I'm still loving it. *End catch up portion*
Spring Break was last week. Instead of heading to the beach to spend a week filled with partying, I went home to Nashville. My sister joked with me that it doesn't feel like I moved away because I'm home so often. That may be the case, but it sure is nice. As always, I felt like I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to do or see everyone I wanted to see. The last 24 hours felt rushed and I was stressed.
My last day in town I went to see "my kids" that I used to nanny for. We played for a bit and I hugged on them as much as they would let me. When it was time for me to leave, those two sweet kiddos stood at the edge of the sidewalk and waved at me, blew me kisses, and kept yelling "I love you!" as I drove away. That did it for me. The tears started coming. Before I knew it I was bawling like a baby. That day was the first day that I just didn't want to leave. I didn't want to get on the bus and come back to Chicago. I wanted to stay with what was comfortable and familiar. What was safe.
Don't get me wrong. I still have no doubt whatsoever that I'm in the right place. I love school. I love the friends I've made here. I love the church I'm attending. I love this city. But I would be lying if I tried to say that this isn't scary. It's been 7 months since I moved here, and it's still scary. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the kids that hold such dear places in my heart. There are days that I know life would be more comfortable if I fell back in the old routine of living in Nashville.
I feel like most people think I always have it all together. One of my friends told me the other day, "You are just so brave!" Truth is, I'm a big wuss. I know I'm in the right place. I feel such an overwhelming peace about it. But the right thing is seldom the easy thing. I'm thankful each and everyday for the support and the love that so many people give me, and I'm grateful for a God who guides me and comforts me. Even on the days I want to hide.
A very brief catch up: I finished my first semester here at Roosevelt with a 4.0 GPA. I was quite proud of myself I must say! I stayed in Chicago for Thanksgiving with my aunt, uncle, and cousins (and their babies!) and had such a great time. Then I was lucky enough to enjoy a whole month home in Nashville for Christmas. It was a great time to just be with my family and my friends and enjoy the stress-free time of no work and no school.
Second semester brought a couple of changes. I moved apartments at the end of January and gained 2 new roommates. They have super sweet, but it's been quite an adjustment for someone who lived alone for so many years. I also took an extra class this semester which has brought it's own stresses. My class load has been difficult, but I'm still loving it. *End catch up portion*
Spring Break was last week. Instead of heading to the beach to spend a week filled with partying, I went home to Nashville. My sister joked with me that it doesn't feel like I moved away because I'm home so often. That may be the case, but it sure is nice. As always, I felt like I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted to do or see everyone I wanted to see. The last 24 hours felt rushed and I was stressed.
My last day in town I went to see "my kids" that I used to nanny for. We played for a bit and I hugged on them as much as they would let me. When it was time for me to leave, those two sweet kiddos stood at the edge of the sidewalk and waved at me, blew me kisses, and kept yelling "I love you!" as I drove away. That did it for me. The tears started coming. Before I knew it I was bawling like a baby. That day was the first day that I just didn't want to leave. I didn't want to get on the bus and come back to Chicago. I wanted to stay with what was comfortable and familiar. What was safe.
Don't get me wrong. I still have no doubt whatsoever that I'm in the right place. I love school. I love the friends I've made here. I love the church I'm attending. I love this city. But I would be lying if I tried to say that this isn't scary. It's been 7 months since I moved here, and it's still scary. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the kids that hold such dear places in my heart. There are days that I know life would be more comfortable if I fell back in the old routine of living in Nashville.
I feel like most people think I always have it all together. One of my friends told me the other day, "You are just so brave!" Truth is, I'm a big wuss. I know I'm in the right place. I feel such an overwhelming peace about it. But the right thing is seldom the easy thing. I'm thankful each and everyday for the support and the love that so many people give me, and I'm grateful for a God who guides me and comforts me. Even on the days I want to hide.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
My Quick Trip Home
Well, my first visit back to Nashville has come and gone. The night before I left, I was so wired I couldn't sleep! Seriously, no sleep! I have had small doses of homesickness, but nothing major. However, as the week went on, I was READY to head south!
My time home was really a big blur. I tried to fit in as much as possible, and I still didn't get to see everyone or do all that I wanted to. I did manage to get in a morning with Carrie, an afternoon with Anne, lunch with Derek, a girls night with Laura, and even a porch night/bonfire with Jessica, Casey, and Amy. The one thing Chicago doesn't have is my wonderful friends. I was telling someone that the nicest thing about being home was just being able to be. I didn't have to have conversations about where I'm from and who I am. I didn't have to pretend. I could just be....silly, dorky me!
The other thing that was amazing was that as much as I hated to leave my friends and family, I never had second thoughts about coming back. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm right where God wants me to be! I am happy and excited about my life, and I really can't wait to see what happens. I feel like as difficult as it has been at times, those times have just made me stronger.
If I didn't get to see you while I was home, I missed you! I'm going to be home for most of the month of December, and I can't wait! I'm hoping there will be many more opportunities to see my dear friends. I do miss all of you guys...lots!
My time home was really a big blur. I tried to fit in as much as possible, and I still didn't get to see everyone or do all that I wanted to. I did manage to get in a morning with Carrie, an afternoon with Anne, lunch with Derek, a girls night with Laura, and even a porch night/bonfire with Jessica, Casey, and Amy. The one thing Chicago doesn't have is my wonderful friends. I was telling someone that the nicest thing about being home was just being able to be. I didn't have to have conversations about where I'm from and who I am. I didn't have to pretend. I could just be....silly, dorky me!
The other thing that was amazing was that as much as I hated to leave my friends and family, I never had second thoughts about coming back. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm right where God wants me to be! I am happy and excited about my life, and I really can't wait to see what happens. I feel like as difficult as it has been at times, those times have just made me stronger.
If I didn't get to see you while I was home, I missed you! I'm going to be home for most of the month of December, and I can't wait! I'm hoping there will be many more opportunities to see my dear friends. I do miss all of you guys...lots!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Free (but hardly easy) therapy
I have been in classes for about six weeks now. I absolutely love my classes and the school I'm at. Roosevelt is completely different from FWBBC, Trevecca, and Liberty. If you know much about my educational "journey" you know that after graduating from FWBBC I really wanted to get my license in Marriage and Family Therapy. I started at Trevecca and loved the Master's program there. I felt great about what I was studying until one day, out of the blue, I just didn't anymore. I felt such a strong urge to get out of the program. I just knew that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life working with married couples and their children. What to do next? I put of school for a couple of years until I decided that I wanted to be a school counselor. There weren't any great programs in Nashville, so I decided to work on my degree through Liberty University's online degree program. No offense to Liberty, but it just wasn't for me. I hated doing classes online. I missed the atmosphere of being in a classroom and really knowing your peers. And the course material just wasn't for me. Liberty's program was really geared more towards teachers and really pushed it's students toward a career in a Christian school. There's nothing wrong with Christian schools. I graduated from one. But my heart and my passion are in the inner city. I don't want the cushy job....I want the tough job with the kids that need me. That's where Roosevelt came in. It's an extremely liberal school (which makes things interesting!), but their passion is social justice. It's a built in part of the curriculum, no matter what you're studying. I love it!
For one of my classes, we had to write an autobiography. Now that it's done and turned in, I know why we had to do it. I had to write about what shaped me, what made me who I am. To say this was difficult was the understatement of the century! I wrote about things that I haven't thought about in a long time. I wrote about my childhood, and I recognize things now that I didn't (or just didn't want to) then. I wrote about the guys I loved, and how two of those relationships in particular shaped my views on love and friendship. I wrote about my friend Eric, and how his death probably affected me more than I've ever thought. I wrote about my dad and my family. Some areas of my life were so easy to write. In fact, I woke up at 2 in the morning one night, came out to my desk, and wrote for an hour about my high school ex. Other parts were hard. When I was writing about Eric, I just broke down. For the first time in a really long time, I really let myself cry and miss my friend.
Honestly, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad that I let myself be real and feel emotions that I haven't felt in a long time. It's something I would encourage everyone to do. It's difficult and emotionally draining, but so so theraputic. There's my first bit of counseling advice!
For one of my classes, we had to write an autobiography. Now that it's done and turned in, I know why we had to do it. I had to write about what shaped me, what made me who I am. To say this was difficult was the understatement of the century! I wrote about things that I haven't thought about in a long time. I wrote about my childhood, and I recognize things now that I didn't (or just didn't want to) then. I wrote about the guys I loved, and how two of those relationships in particular shaped my views on love and friendship. I wrote about my friend Eric, and how his death probably affected me more than I've ever thought. I wrote about my dad and my family. Some areas of my life were so easy to write. In fact, I woke up at 2 in the morning one night, came out to my desk, and wrote for an hour about my high school ex. Other parts were hard. When I was writing about Eric, I just broke down. For the first time in a really long time, I really let myself cry and miss my friend.
Honestly, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad that I let myself be real and feel emotions that I haven't felt in a long time. It's something I would encourage everyone to do. It's difficult and emotionally draining, but so so theraputic. There's my first bit of counseling advice!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
If FWBBC could see me now!
Most of you know that I attended Free Will Baptist Bible College for my undergrad degree. For the most part, I would call it a positive experience. I met many new friends and was able to deepen several friendships while I was there. Many of the Bible classes challenged me and, whether directly or indirectly, shaped my theology.
The school had very strict guidelines when it came to behavior off and on campus. Guys were never allowed in the girls dorm, but on the rare occasion that a male was present, you would hear the shout, "Man on the floor!" Movies were prohibited. There was never to be any smoking or drinking, and absolutely no drug use.
I am currently living in student housing here at Roosevelt. When you are attending a college in the heart of downtown Chicago, dorm living is really supervised apartment living. I live in a 26 story building with mostly undergrad students. This is a temporary housing building until something opens up in the permanant graduate residence. Most of my walking through the building is meeting college kids going to parties, coming home from parties, or getting ready to throw a party. It's not exactly peaceful, but it's always interesting!
The day I moved in, my dad and I got to my floor. The first thing I saw was 4 college guys all moving in next door to me. My dad and I laughed, and I said "We've come a long way from FWBBC!". The other day on the elevator, my roommate and I were greeted with an overwhelming smell of marijuana smoke. The girl was unbelievably high. Tonight, while going to check on my laundry, I rode a packed elevator with a kid straight up smoking a cigarette. I say all this to say, more than anything else about the city or my school, "dorm" life has proved that I'm no longer at FWBBC!
The school had very strict guidelines when it came to behavior off and on campus. Guys were never allowed in the girls dorm, but on the rare occasion that a male was present, you would hear the shout, "Man on the floor!" Movies were prohibited. There was never to be any smoking or drinking, and absolutely no drug use.
I am currently living in student housing here at Roosevelt. When you are attending a college in the heart of downtown Chicago, dorm living is really supervised apartment living. I live in a 26 story building with mostly undergrad students. This is a temporary housing building until something opens up in the permanant graduate residence. Most of my walking through the building is meeting college kids going to parties, coming home from parties, or getting ready to throw a party. It's not exactly peaceful, but it's always interesting!
The day I moved in, my dad and I got to my floor. The first thing I saw was 4 college guys all moving in next door to me. My dad and I laughed, and I said "We've come a long way from FWBBC!". The other day on the elevator, my roommate and I were greeted with an overwhelming smell of marijuana smoke. The girl was unbelievably high. Tonight, while going to check on my laundry, I rode a packed elevator with a kid straight up smoking a cigarette. I say all this to say, more than anything else about the city or my school, "dorm" life has proved that I'm no longer at FWBBC!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Family
I am completely blessed by an amazing family. There are times that I take forgranted that not everyone has what I have.
In 1996 we quite the surprise...a new cousin! Caroline was the surprise addition to our family. We all joke that she immediately became the favorite. She has the most pictures up at Mamaw and Papaw's house and (seemingly) got the most presents at Christmas. :-) She is funny, smart, and beyond talented. I think she's better at everything than the older four of us....combined! I'm loving living near her!
Aunt Gwen has one of the best laughs, and I love sitting with her and my sister and listening to her laugh. Casey can make anyone laugh, but I love hearing her make Aunt Gwen laugh! My Uncle John is one of the most intelligent people I know and so much fun to be around. He is a great listener and gives fantastic advice. I'm so thankful for them!
Abby and Grant have both married two amazing people, and they fit right in with our family. Caleb and Abby have an adorable little girl who turns 1 tomorrow. Tatum is so smiley! Everytime I see new pictures of her, I just want to pinch her little cheeks! From what I hear she has developed quite the personality! I wish I lived closer to them and could see them more often. Caleb is the perfect fit for Abby, and I'm so thankful he's a part of our crazy family!
Grant married Olivia, a girl that I grew up with. I have always thought of her as family and now she is! They have a precious son, Clive who is seven months old. He is adorable! He has chunky cheeks and wide alert eyes! I love them all so much and I miss living near them in Nashville. As you can see, they have a fantastic sense of humor, and Clive gets to play dress-up for Mommy quite often!
Finally, there are my wonderful grandparents. They have been married for 56 years and are more in love than ever. They are the greatest example of what marriage should be and I'm so thankful for them. They have finally sold the house they've lived in their whole married lives and are getting ready to move to Nashville. I'm so excited for them and for this next chapter in their lives.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Going to the Grocery Store Isn't As Simple as it Used to Be!
So remember in my blog post yesterday when I said it would be a long time until I took the bus again? Yeah, I lied. And it didn't work out so well.
I decided this afternoon to take the train a little north to a Borders I spotted yesterday. I figured all the Borders are closing, there are sure to be great deals, and I've recently become obsessed with the Harry Potter books and I need the next 2. Well the Borders is closing and everything was 70-90% off! The bad news is that they had turned off the A/C and the escalators, and everything was thrown around. If you were looking for something specific you were pretty much out of luck. After 15 minutes of digging, fighting the crowds, and sweating (it was seriously hot in there!), I gave up and left. I remembered there was a Barnes and Noble about 4 blocks south, so I set out to get my Harry Potter fix.
When I walked outside I realized that it had started raining. It wasn't a downpour, just that annoying steady drizzle. Guess who didn't bring an umbrella? Yep! So I had a nice walk in the rain and managed to pick up the books I needed. When I left the bookstore, I decided to take the train down to the stop that's around the corner from my grocery store. I had left my reusable, much easier to carry bags at home, but I thought, "No problem, I'll just take the bus home."
Six bags of groceries later, I was ready to go. It's only a 4-5 block walk to my apartment, but I knew that with my luck a bag would break and I would be picking up groceries off the sidewalk. Instead of crossing the busy Wabash Avenue, I decided to take the bus to the Museum Campus (the end of the line) and ride it back around to my stop. When the bus finally got there I dragged my wet self and my 6 bags on. Once we got to the Adler Planitarium (the last stop), the bus driver pulled over, stood up, and said, "Last stop! Everybody off!" Seriously. I just looked at him. I finally said, "Can't I ride this back in to town?" He just looked at me like I was crazy and said okay. "But you'll have to wait. It's my break." He got off the bus, lit a cigarette, and walked away. I could practically feel my frozen meals melting next to me.
15 minutes later, we started off. I remembered my mistake from last time and did not get off at the 11th Street stop. I was feeling quite confident! Then, the next stop flashed...9th Street. Like I said, my apartment is on 8th Street. What were the chances that they would stop twice in the space of one block? So I pulled the cord and got off. That one block walk with all those bags was one of the longest ever. I barely made it into the apartment--a full 45 minutes after I left the grocery store! It sure is easier to shop when you have a car! Lesson learned--always take your reusable bags and NEVER take the bus!
I decided this afternoon to take the train a little north to a Borders I spotted yesterday. I figured all the Borders are closing, there are sure to be great deals, and I've recently become obsessed with the Harry Potter books and I need the next 2. Well the Borders is closing and everything was 70-90% off! The bad news is that they had turned off the A/C and the escalators, and everything was thrown around. If you were looking for something specific you were pretty much out of luck. After 15 minutes of digging, fighting the crowds, and sweating (it was seriously hot in there!), I gave up and left. I remembered there was a Barnes and Noble about 4 blocks south, so I set out to get my Harry Potter fix.
When I walked outside I realized that it had started raining. It wasn't a downpour, just that annoying steady drizzle. Guess who didn't bring an umbrella? Yep! So I had a nice walk in the rain and managed to pick up the books I needed. When I left the bookstore, I decided to take the train down to the stop that's around the corner from my grocery store. I had left my reusable, much easier to carry bags at home, but I thought, "No problem, I'll just take the bus home."
Six bags of groceries later, I was ready to go. It's only a 4-5 block walk to my apartment, but I knew that with my luck a bag would break and I would be picking up groceries off the sidewalk. Instead of crossing the busy Wabash Avenue, I decided to take the bus to the Museum Campus (the end of the line) and ride it back around to my stop. When the bus finally got there I dragged my wet self and my 6 bags on. Once we got to the Adler Planitarium (the last stop), the bus driver pulled over, stood up, and said, "Last stop! Everybody off!" Seriously. I just looked at him. I finally said, "Can't I ride this back in to town?" He just looked at me like I was crazy and said okay. "But you'll have to wait. It's my break." He got off the bus, lit a cigarette, and walked away. I could practically feel my frozen meals melting next to me.
15 minutes later, we started off. I remembered my mistake from last time and did not get off at the 11th Street stop. I was feeling quite confident! Then, the next stop flashed...9th Street. Like I said, my apartment is on 8th Street. What were the chances that they would stop twice in the space of one block? So I pulled the cord and got off. That one block walk with all those bags was one of the longest ever. I barely made it into the apartment--a full 45 minutes after I left the grocery store! It sure is easier to shop when you have a car! Lesson learned--always take your reusable bags and NEVER take the bus!
I finally braved the bus...
Ever since I first visited New York with my wonderful friend Laura, I quickly learned the simplicity and efficiency of the subway train. It's cheap, it shows up every 5 minutes or so, and more often than not, gets you quite close to where you need to be. So when I moved to Chicago I had no hesitation about using the trains. I did have one incident where I "lost" the red line. I got off at one stop to switch trains, followed the signs to the red line, and could not find the entrance. I soon realized that in the Loop, the red line is a subway train--which means it runs underground. All the other trains are "el" (or elevated) trains. I now know when looking for the red line in the Loop, look for an entrance on the sidewalk.
Anyway, the one mode of transportation that totally freaks me out are the buses. There are about a kagillion different routes, they all have numbers, and I have no idea what takes you where. None. So when I decided to go to the Field Museum last week, I decided to also brave the bus. I spent quite a bit of time researching which line to take, where it would pick me up, and where it would drop me off. I even made sure I knew the return route. I was feeling quite proud of myself.
The bus stop ended up being right across State Street from my apartment. How convenient! And when I got there, the bus was already there picking other people up. Another good sign! I was feeling like I had mastered the bus! All of a sudden I realized that the bus would say the names of the stops it was apporaching, then just drive right on by them. I started to freak out a bit. How do I get off this thing? Where am I going to end up? Do I just tell the bus driver, "Hey, I need off!" and risk scaring the poor woman half to death? What do I do????
The bus soon pulled in to Museum Campus--the home of the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, the planitarium, and Soldier Field. The automated voice came on, "Now approaching Soldier Field and the Field Museum". That was me...this was my cue. I totally froze--and we passed my stop. Luckily, a group of people all wanted off at the Shedd Aquarium. The lights about the driver flashed the words, "Stop Requested". Well how do you request a stop? Do you tell the driver when you get on the bus where you need off at? I just followed the group of people off the bus, then backtracked to the Field Museum.
When it was time to make my way to the bus stop to head home, I texted my roommate Nina. She is the opposite of me. She thinks the bus is easy, but the trains freak her out. So I said, "Dumb bus question. How do you get the bus to stop at your stop?" She very kindly texted back and informed me that I just needed to pull the cord above me when my stop was coming up. Cord? What cord? I'm pretty sure I didn't see a cord.
Lo and behold, when I got on the bus, right above the windows, there was a cord. I felt like an idiot. I was beginning to feel that old confidence creep back in. I can do this! No problem! Then my lack of direction sank in. I watched as several people got off at the Roosevelt stop. I knew this was several blocks from my apartment so I sat still. Then the next stop called out was for 11th Street. I live at 8th Street. Did I miss the stop? Does the bus take a different route on the way back? Am I just going to keep getting further and further from home???? So I pulled the cord for 11th Street. When I got off, I saw my apartment building---3 blocks further up. I also saw the bus make a stop right outside of my front door. Awesome. At least I learned my lesson---even though I doubt I'll be riding the bus again anytime in the near future.
Anyway, the one mode of transportation that totally freaks me out are the buses. There are about a kagillion different routes, they all have numbers, and I have no idea what takes you where. None. So when I decided to go to the Field Museum last week, I decided to also brave the bus. I spent quite a bit of time researching which line to take, where it would pick me up, and where it would drop me off. I even made sure I knew the return route. I was feeling quite proud of myself.
The bus stop ended up being right across State Street from my apartment. How convenient! And when I got there, the bus was already there picking other people up. Another good sign! I was feeling like I had mastered the bus! All of a sudden I realized that the bus would say the names of the stops it was apporaching, then just drive right on by them. I started to freak out a bit. How do I get off this thing? Where am I going to end up? Do I just tell the bus driver, "Hey, I need off!" and risk scaring the poor woman half to death? What do I do????
The bus soon pulled in to Museum Campus--the home of the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, the planitarium, and Soldier Field. The automated voice came on, "Now approaching Soldier Field and the Field Museum". That was me...this was my cue. I totally froze--and we passed my stop. Luckily, a group of people all wanted off at the Shedd Aquarium. The lights about the driver flashed the words, "Stop Requested". Well how do you request a stop? Do you tell the driver when you get on the bus where you need off at? I just followed the group of people off the bus, then backtracked to the Field Museum.
When it was time to make my way to the bus stop to head home, I texted my roommate Nina. She is the opposite of me. She thinks the bus is easy, but the trains freak her out. So I said, "Dumb bus question. How do you get the bus to stop at your stop?" She very kindly texted back and informed me that I just needed to pull the cord above me when my stop was coming up. Cord? What cord? I'm pretty sure I didn't see a cord.
Lo and behold, when I got on the bus, right above the windows, there was a cord. I felt like an idiot. I was beginning to feel that old confidence creep back in. I can do this! No problem! Then my lack of direction sank in. I watched as several people got off at the Roosevelt stop. I knew this was several blocks from my apartment so I sat still. Then the next stop called out was for 11th Street. I live at 8th Street. Did I miss the stop? Does the bus take a different route on the way back? Am I just going to keep getting further and further from home???? So I pulled the cord for 11th Street. When I got off, I saw my apartment building---3 blocks further up. I also saw the bus make a stop right outside of my front door. Awesome. At least I learned my lesson---even though I doubt I'll be riding the bus again anytime in the near future.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
One Week In...
Well, I'm officially one week in to my new life here in Chicago. I have ridden the "el" and gotten lost, braved the bus line for the first time, and had my first real Chicago-style pizza. Oh yeah, there were a couple of classes in there too!
Things have been going really well and I feel like I'm settling in. There are times I still have to remind myself that I'm not on vacation...this is my new reality. But for the most part, I'm getting used to it. My classes so far have been amazing. It's everything I wanted it to be. There are about 30 of us who will go through the program together, and I'm hoping to make some good friends. Roosevelt puts a big emphasis on social justice and serving in the community. This week I'll learn about two different organizations that I can serve in this semester. It's so exciting!
Today I went to church, and it was such a challenging and encouraging morning. Willow Creek (which is a massive church in the suburbs) has a campus that meets in the Auditorium Theatre at my school. Quite convenient, huh? The worship was incredible, the congregation was filled with all sorts of nationalities and ethnicities, and the campus pastor delievered a challenging sermon. At the end of the sermon we all got on our knees and prayed that God would give us His eyes for people and for the city of Chicago. I filled out a form for visitors to get more information. I know they have a very active program for 20's/30's and also a choir. I would love to get plugged in there ASAP.
So far I've only had a couple of bouts of homesickness. However, even when I've been the most homesick, I've never once had second thoughts about being here or what I've here for. I'm hoping to find some fantastic bars and restaurants around town that only the "locals" know so that all of my friends can come visit and enjoy authentic Chicago! I'm blessed by so many people in Nashville who love me and believe in me. I'm going to try my hardest not to let them down!
Things have been going really well and I feel like I'm settling in. There are times I still have to remind myself that I'm not on vacation...this is my new reality. But for the most part, I'm getting used to it. My classes so far have been amazing. It's everything I wanted it to be. There are about 30 of us who will go through the program together, and I'm hoping to make some good friends. Roosevelt puts a big emphasis on social justice and serving in the community. This week I'll learn about two different organizations that I can serve in this semester. It's so exciting!
Today I went to church, and it was such a challenging and encouraging morning. Willow Creek (which is a massive church in the suburbs) has a campus that meets in the Auditorium Theatre at my school. Quite convenient, huh? The worship was incredible, the congregation was filled with all sorts of nationalities and ethnicities, and the campus pastor delievered a challenging sermon. At the end of the sermon we all got on our knees and prayed that God would give us His eyes for people and for the city of Chicago. I filled out a form for visitors to get more information. I know they have a very active program for 20's/30's and also a choir. I would love to get plugged in there ASAP.
So far I've only had a couple of bouts of homesickness. However, even when I've been the most homesick, I've never once had second thoughts about being here or what I've here for. I'm hoping to find some fantastic bars and restaurants around town that only the "locals" know so that all of my friends can come visit and enjoy authentic Chicago! I'm blessed by so many people in Nashville who love me and believe in me. I'm going to try my hardest not to let them down!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)